Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Immortality Is A Blessing and a Curse

Battle of the Immortals…Lets see…well to be honest I don’t know of any way I could possibly review this without it sounding like a review of Diablo or Titan Quest. After all that’s almost literally what it is: A BAD version of Diablo or Titan Quest…Oh I know! I can start by discrediting the reviewers who have come before me who were clearly bribed into giving this game the good reviews it currently has that were clearly meant for some other game...say...oh I don't know...DIABLO.

(MMOsite.com)“BoI is a Must Play” – Runescape was a must play at one time, look how that guy turned out, and on that logic any other top view RPG is instantly worth playing too because they all also have “epic loot” “original game play” and mounts that look like they came straight out of World of Warcraft.

(MMORPG.com) “Battle of The Immortals is a perfectly playable and addictive Action-MMO..” - BoI has the entertainment value of a bomb on a school bus. The initial explosion maybe a grand spectacle, but once you look at the incident as a whole it becomes really depressing really fast.

(Massively.com) “Perfect World Entertainment has found a perfect balance in this game.” – A balance between what and what exactly? Is it the perfect balance between Diablo and WoW? Woops there I go again, I told you I can’t go two seconds without comparing it to Diablo because THAT’S WHAT IT IS.

Now onto the actual review: In BoI you play the role of an “immortal” because everyone knows to play the role of a “god” is to break a game in half before it even gets out of beta. Anyway a big problem of some kind is going down in the realm of the mortals so you’re sent down to “earth” with thousands of other immortals like yourself to deal with it. Yes that’s all I managed to get out of the story line; it all evolved a bit too fast for me and eventually it got to the point that I was accepting quests with no reason other than the fact that I got to smite stuff with my powerful “epic loot” that the game GAVE me not even an hour in.

See that is the biggest problem with BoI: it spoils you horribly and holds your hand through almost everything. You have plenty of opportunities for double EXP, for the first hour or so of the game they’re constantly giving you free stuff, and continue to do so with a special chest you can open every 5 levels, and my personal favorite, you have what’s known as a rage skill where you simply run into a massive mob of enemies and then everything on your screen just dies. The rage skill is a good concept but at least make us work for it guys! Don’t instantly fill our rage meter every time we level, and sure as hell don’t make us level after one quest. That’s a literal statement by the way; for the first 15 levels the game goes like this: “quest giver tells you to go kill 15…20 guys – find guys -[rage skill] – turn in quest – level up – repeat steps 1…5.”

That’s not fun, it’s just downright boring, not to mention repetitive. I know I constantly hit MMOs for the constant grind quests but this is a step so far in the wrong direction you fell off a cliff in China trying to move away from a Cliff in Washington D.C.

Battle of The Immortals gets a 3 out of 10; Needless to say I have recently become quite disappointed in Perfect World Entertainment. Now go rot in a trash bin you pathetic excuse for Diablo. (Oh hey look at that I did it again! If you’ve been taking shots to every time I mentioned Diablo [take another] I apologies for making you DRUNK])