A Microscopic Adventure

Micro Volts is the latest third person shooter to be released. Well technically that’s a lie; it’s actually be in closed beta for quite a while. Not as long as Get Amped 2 but still a LOOOONG time. In Micro Volt you are an action figure brought to life with the power of a special battery. However “resources” are scarce in the Micro world so you find yourself having to kill other dolls in order to keep yourself powered up and ultimatly animated.

Anyway, there’s only one way to describe Micro Volts and that’s this: If you can afford to buy Team Fortress 2 from Steam then do so, if not download this game cause it’s the EXACT same. The biggest difference is that Micro Volts doesn’t have classes, any character can use any weapon at any time, ranging from the Heavy’s “Heavy Machine Gun,” the Sniper’s “Sniper Rifle” and the Demoman’s…well you get the idea. The other biggest difference is Micro Volts has girls, and with those girls comes panties. The anime girl has a stereotypical mini-skirt that’s a little too “mini” and the gothic doll doesn’t wear any bottoms at all. They make for great distractions while you get yourself 1 hit killed by a sniper round, or a rocket, a grenade, ect.

Micro Volts sniper matches are usually “do or die” showdowns. This wouldn’t be a problem if only a few players had sniper rifles, but anyone can pull one out and put a bullet right between your eyes. There’s no denying that Micro Volts takes a ridiculous amount of skill no matter what style map you are playing. So needless to say it made me feel really good inside to maintain a positive Kill to Death Ratio the entire time I was playing. Because normally in shooters my KTD is like my sex life; so bad it’s non-existent.

Micro Volts in a nutshell, is a fun game, a hard game, and a COPIED game. However if you’re willing to forgive how painfully obvious of a rip off this game is, then look it up.

Team Fortress 2, oh wait I’m sorry MICRO VOLTS, gets a 5 out of 10

Get Owned 2

I was excited to hear that Get Amped 2 had finally been put back out to the public again after its apparent placement in suspended animation. I loved that game in the Beta and I was sad to hear that the game was going to close, I was even more depressed, and even a little flabbergasted when I heard that it wasn’t going to come out again for years.

But now its back and boy are there changes. Unfortunately they are NOT changes for the better.

In Get Amped 2 you play the role of one of one of the multitudes of people from all across the stars who has come to take part in a (seemingly endless) fighting tournament. Apparently the entire universe is not only the planets in our galaxy, but also includes several parallel dimensions; I’ll explain the meaning of that statement in just a second. There are many ways to fight your opponents; player or otherwise. There are also many different maps each of which are quite stylish. However due to the multitudes of weapons, tools, and maps at your disposal this game quickly lost its balance. Returning to my previous comment the outfits your character wears are 100% cosmetic. You can even customize your own outfit and pay 2,000 in game coins to wear that custom skin in the battle field. As awesome as this idea is, I was shocked at the vast amount of people that actually DIDN’T have original outfits.

Almost everyone was dressed as a character from either a Game or an Anime; I even saw the entire cast of Soul Eater at one point. No one in that game seems to have the least bit sense of creativity which quickly ruins the point of having a fully customizable outfit in the first place.

While weapons are involved with this game, the abilities your character has are based off of your “accessory.” These range from claws to staffs to swords and everything in between. Sadly there are items in this game that are clearly superior to others, there’s no sence of balance present in this game at all. The 100k weapons are the tools of gods and will allow you to slaughter everyone in your path, while the 5k weapons are so horribly underpowered they have no earthly business being in the game in the first place.

Although the looks are cosmetic there are a number of classes like in Rumble Fighter. Just like the weapons some are clearly superior while others are left for the slaughter. The “beginner friendly” balanced character’s stats are so low that he’s nothing more than a punching bag, while the spy can’t be touched and the knight can’t be killed without an entire army due to his ridiculous defense.

I cannot believe one of my personally favorite games has died so quickly. On top of that, I can’t believe how bad the game is, considering it was closed for development for what – 3 years? If you’re gonna take a game off the market that long for the sake of testing, you might want to, oh I don’t know…TEST IT.

Get Amped 2 gets a 2 out of 10, It’s really hard for me to talk down a game I used to love so much, but the GA2 I loved is long dead.

Immortality Is A Blessing and a Curse

Battle of the Immortals…Lets see…well to be honest I don’t know of any way I could possibly review this without it sounding like a review of Diablo or Titan Quest. After all that’s almost literally what it is: A BAD version of Diablo or Titan Quest…Oh I know! I can start by discrediting the reviewers who have come before me who were clearly bribed into giving this game the good reviews it currently has that were clearly meant for some other game...say...oh I don't know...DIABLO.

(MMOsite.com)“BoI is a Must Play” – Runescape was a must play at one time, look how that guy turned out, and on that logic any other top view RPG is instantly worth playing too because they all also have “epic loot” “original game play” and mounts that look like they came straight out of World of Warcraft.

(MMORPG.com) “Battle of The Immortals is a perfectly playable and addictive Action-MMO..” - BoI has the entertainment value of a bomb on a school bus. The initial explosion maybe a grand spectacle, but once you look at the incident as a whole it becomes really depressing really fast.

(Massively.com) “Perfect World Entertainment has found a perfect balance in this game.” – A balance between what and what exactly? Is it the perfect balance between Diablo and WoW? Woops there I go again, I told you I can’t go two seconds without comparing it to Diablo because THAT’S WHAT IT IS.

Now onto the actual review: In BoI you play the role of an “immortal” because everyone knows to play the role of a “god” is to break a game in half before it even gets out of beta. Anyway a big problem of some kind is going down in the realm of the mortals so you’re sent down to “earth” with thousands of other immortals like yourself to deal with it. Yes that’s all I managed to get out of the story line; it all evolved a bit too fast for me and eventually it got to the point that I was accepting quests with no reason other than the fact that I got to smite stuff with my powerful “epic loot” that the game GAVE me not even an hour in.

See that is the biggest problem with BoI: it spoils you horribly and holds your hand through almost everything. You have plenty of opportunities for double EXP, for the first hour or so of the game they’re constantly giving you free stuff, and continue to do so with a special chest you can open every 5 levels, and my personal favorite, you have what’s known as a rage skill where you simply run into a massive mob of enemies and then everything on your screen just dies. The rage skill is a good concept but at least make us work for it guys! Don’t instantly fill our rage meter every time we level, and sure as hell don’t make us level after one quest. That’s a literal statement by the way; for the first 15 levels the game goes like this: “quest giver tells you to go kill 15…20 guys – find guys -[rage skill] – turn in quest – level up – repeat steps 1…5.”

That’s not fun, it’s just downright boring, not to mention repetitive. I know I constantly hit MMOs for the constant grind quests but this is a step so far in the wrong direction you fell off a cliff in China trying to move away from a Cliff in Washington D.C.

Battle of The Immortals gets a 3 out of 10; Needless to say I have recently become quite disappointed in Perfect World Entertainment. Now go rot in a trash bin you pathetic excuse for Diablo. (Oh hey look at that I did it again! If you’ve been taking shots to every time I mentioned Diablo [take another] I apologies for making you DRUNK])