There’s been so much talk about Team Fortress 2 that every time someone says the word Babies it makes me want to punch one…Okay that was sadistic, but you get where I’m going with this. Any way in an effort to help break up some of the almost endless amount of banter about this game, here’s my review of the game.
To quote Yahtzee: TF2 is “Fucking fucking fucking fucking, bad bad bad bad, don’t don’t don’t Don’t Play It.”
I honestly can’t see what all the fuss is about; Team Fortress 2 is a really bad game. Perhaps the only reason it’s good is because its cultist fans have never gotten outside of the 2 room apartment that is the game and tried any of the other multitudes of shooters out there. I had more fun playing Call of Duty and I SUCK at that game.
Team Fortress 2 has a lot of the same problems that S4 League had. The costumes (or in this case the hats) were completely useless, and anyone who bothered wasting money on the game instantly became the Game’s equivalent to Jesus Christ while all the other people who are smart and don’t spend money on MMO shooters are left to cry in a corner because they don’t have any fancy hats and everyone on the enemy team is one hit killing them. I know the Spy is suppose to be able to 1hk, but when the Demoman or the Pyro does it I know there’s a problem.
Speaking of Spies, they’re arguably the most useless class in the game despite all the praise and fancy CGI behind them. Any smart human can tell if you’re on their team or not, and all the bots can see past your stealth so you can forget ever pulling off a backstab, which leaves you with the dinky revolver that…oh by the way, doesn’t work.
If you’re the medic you’re focused, if you’re the sniper you’re ganked almost effortlessly or picked off by another sniper. If you’re a scout you get burned to death and if you’re a soldier or demo man you’re about as useless as your ability to “rocket jump.” So in the long run, if you DO try this game, be sure to be the Pyro or the Heavy since they’re the only good characters in the game. Engineer? Hah! Do the words “Heavy Machine Gun” mean anything to you?
The game has had plenty of time to balance itself and plenty of time for more maps, the fact of the matter is Valve simply doesn’t want too…The fact that they made it free to play is basically them saying “here have something to keep you company while we take the next two years to come out with the next big game.”
Team 4-3-2 gets a 2 (HA) out of 10 if you were thinking about downloading it you might as well buy The Orange Box, at least then you get Half Life and Portal two of the greatest games ever made and you can spend your time playing those while taking the time to point and laugh at TF2 between loading screens because let’s face it you’ve got better things to do than play it.
